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Editor's note: The following is a collection of the signature lines Lev has used since joining DorothyL, an e-mail discussion of mystery literature. |
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New Signatures, Spring Trimester 1998
Here are the latest signatures from the inimitable Lev Raphael:
Let's Get Signatory
from Lev Raphael, author of Let's Get Jumpers!--a cross-cultural comedy of errors-cum-thriller.
from Lev Raphael, author of Let's Get Personal, "a rhetorical mystery that puts the homicide in ad hominem arguments."
from Lev Raphael, author of Let's Get Peripteral, a Greco-Roman thriller with an architect PI: Flavius Overbillus.
from Lev Raphael, author of Let's Get Hetaera-sexual, a mystery set in Ancient Greece with a courtesan PI.
from Lev Raphael, author of Let's Get Political, in which-- Sorry, the mind reels.....
from Lev Raphael, author of Let's Get Emotional, the memoir thriller by Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown.
from Lev Raphael, author of Let's Get Dessert.
from Lev Raphael, author of Let's Get Non-Relational, a thriller wannabe.
From Lev Raphael, author of Let's Get Postprandial, a cozy with lots of napping.
from Lev Raphael, author of Let's Get Peninsular, a geographical thriller-cum-romp.
from Lev Raphael, author of Let's Get Promotable, a well mannered horror tale: "Stephen King meets Anita Brookner."
Original Productions
from Lev Raphael, who'd cast Glenn Close as Serena Fisch, Calista Flockhart as Sharon, Rupert Everett as Perry Cross, Ken Olin as Stefan, and Nathan Lane (after a spa visit) as Nick in the film of Let's Get Criminal.
from Lev Raphael, who has received so much off-list flack for casting Ken Olin as Stefan that he's now considering Alec Baldwin to star in Let's Get Criminal.
from Lev Raphael, author of Who Killed Sonny Bono?, soon to be a mini minor major motion picture with Treat Williams, Vanessa Williams, Andy Williams and Claudine Longet.
from Lev Raphael, whose best-selling BCON 1997 humor panel tape is being turned into competing concept CDs by Trisha Yearwood and LeAnn "Busta" Rimes. Catch us all next year at the Grammies.....
from Lev Raphael, currently co-writing with Terrill Lankford a novelization of Verdi's Stiffelio, the first great opera about sexual harassment.
from Lev Raphael, author of The Edith Wharton Murders, soon to be an after-school special with Tori Spelling as EW and Harlan Coben as Henry James.
from Lev Raphael, author of Let's All Go To The Lobby, a Scream -type horror thriller set in a movie theater. Screenplay under way by Terrill Lankford--feature film will star Calista Flockhart, with Harlan Coben as the usher.
The Edith Wharton Signatures
from Lev Raphael, author of Edith Wharton Smoking, a 5-act Racinian drama coming to the Guthrie Theater, with Joyce Christmas playing the Narrator.
from Lev Raphael, author of The Wharton Files, an X-Files rip-off in which an ex-academic PI discovers unearthly doings at Wharton's Lenox home The Mount.
from Lev Raphael, author of The Edith Wharton Repairs, a cross between "The Firm" and "This Old House": a thriller for the fix-it crowd.
from Lev Raphael, author of The Esther Williams Murders --no, sorry, I meant, The Edith Wharton Murders.
from Lev Raphael, author of The Edith Wharton Muggers, a caper set at EW's Lenox, MA home.
from Lev Raphael, author of Wharton Resurrection, a sci-fi thriller in which a mad Whartonian kidnaps a geneticist and forces her to clone EW from DNA left on one of her hats. Can a new theme park,Wharton World, be far behind?!
from Lev Raphael, author of The Girl Who Remembered Snow Falling on Wharton--a "wintry mix" woo-woo hoo-roo thriller.
from Lev Raphael, author of The Edith Wharton Mugwumps, a turn-of-the-century political thriller.
From Lev Raphael, author of The Quidnunc Murders, a gossipy mystery set in D.C.
from Lev Raphael, author of The Man Who Would Be Edith Wharton, a historical transvestite noir David Handler homage thriller.
from Lev Raphael, author of The Edith Wharton Murders, now available at the Nogano Winter Olympics as an ice sculpture.
from Lev Raphael, author of The Edith Wharton Murders, currently being skated at Nogano (somewhat condensed) by Pasha Grishuk.
from Lev Raphael, author of Let's Spell Nagano Right! Is it a primer? A thriller? You decide.
from Lev Raphael, author of Pasha Grishuk: A Legend in Her Own Mind.
from Lev Raphael, author of The Edith Wharton Murders, now available in a luge version from Nagano Press.
from Lev Raphael, author of The Edith Wharton Murders, voted favorite academic mystery by the astronauts on MIR.
from Lev Raphael, author of The Edith Wharton Murders, currently being produced as a nightwear line by Tyra Banks.
from Lev Raphael, author of The Edith Wharton Murders; The Edith Wharton Exercise Video (with RuPaul); Edith Wharton In The Kitchen (with Phyllis Richman); and Edith Wharton: Goddess Of Love (with Susie Bright).
Death by Duvet
From: Lev Raphael
<kaufmang@pilot.msu.edu>
Subject: Expert-tease
Tiara Duvet's list of expertise:
~~~~~The Hanseatic League, Incunabula, Emeralds.
But that's only before lunch.
During Lunch:
~~~~~Making the perfect "top shelf" Sidecar.
From: Lev
Raphael
Subject: More Expertise
Tiara Duvet's cocktail hour expertise:
~~~~~bezique~~~~~
Infrequently Asked Questions
From: Lev
Raphael
Subject: Even MORE IFAQs
- Can I receive my digest organized so that intemperate posts are separated out and arranged by ascending (or descending) ire?
- Can I make sure that posters who disagree with me get accidentally bounced off DorothyL at least once a season?
- If I experience identity confusion between my real self and my nom de clavier identity, will Kara recommend a therapist or spa?
- If there's a REAL VIRUS WARNING do we destroy our computers the way chickens were slaughtered in Hong Kong?
From: Lev
Raphael
Subject: Still More IFAQs
- If I'm an author and not really touring, but just heading to the mall book store to see if my new book is in stock, is it BSP to mention that on the list?
- Since authors have been growled at on DorothyL for thanking readers who mention their books, will the reverse hold true? What happens when an author thanks a certain fan for *not* reading a book the author thinks the fan wouldn't appreciate?
- If some of our best friends are librarians, do we stay mum on the Miss Zukas question, or does that give us license?
- Can I get a double nom de clavier, that is, have an alter ego take the name of someone on the list who actually exists--or at least posts?
From: Lev
Raphael
Subject: Even More Infrequently Etc.
- Parnell Hall said at BCon that he doesn't write comedy but suspense, so is his new book SUSPENSE a memoir about his career?
- Is it really necessary to read an author's book before you trash it or the author off-list?
- Are there more DorothyL-ers interested in sex in mysteries or mystery in sex? What happens if there's a tie?
From: Lev Raphael
<kaufmang@pilot.msu.edu>
Subject: Some More IFAQs
- Do we get extra credit for carefully reading every single post on every single digest and committing them all to memory?
- Is there a prize for the 1000th query of "Can we talk about mysteries again?"
- If Sue Grafton can have an element named after her--Graftonite--what (non-award) honors are available to the rest of us?
From: Lev Raphael
<kaufmang@pilot.msu.edu>
Subject: Extra Infrequently Asked Questions
- Are there any regional quilting mysteries with tattooed sleuths?
- Is "alleluia" Latin for Siobhan?
- How many critics does it take to change a light bulb?
It's a Mystery to Me
from Lev Raphael, author of As Cliched as it Gets, a novel (and soon to be movie) in which a crusty but ultimately lovable paranoid schizophrenic author gets involved with a sweet cashier whose triplets are on life support, and a transvestite neighbor. It's got sit-comedy for days!
from Lev Raphael, author of The Glenn Milller Murders, in which the band leader starts a brewery, investigates Jack the Ripper-esque murders in Parisian brothels, and falls afoul of fiendish knitwear.
from Lev Raphael, author of The Spotted Dick And Jane Murders, in which Jane Austen pursues a serial killer who always leaves behind a sample of English cuisine.
from Lev Raphael, who heard Les Roberts play a stunning version of the theme from Laura at the Hotel Roberts in Muncie at last year's Magna cum Murder. How's that for combining two mini-threads?
from Lev Raphael, author of Nameless Ones Walk Among Us, the horrifying tale of bloodthirsty anonymous reviewers condemned to anonymity as they savage authors. Reviewers are already saying "Demoralizing!" "Anne Rice meets John Simon!" "You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll get out of town!"
from Lev Raphael, author of The Stentorian Voice Murders, a boom-lacka-lacka-lacka-boom thriller.
from Lev Raphael, author of Edgar, Edgar, Who's Got The Edgar? (a thriller to muse about).
from Lev Raphael, author of All The Way To Memphis, a time-travel/70s rock thriller in which Pharaoh Barb meets Mott the Hoople and they go boating on the Nile with all the young dudes in gold sandals.
from Lev Raphael, author of The Pianoforte Murders, a Franco-Italian mystery. It's quiet! It's loud! It's confusing!
from Lev Raphael, author of Death Of A Legend: Pia Zadora And The Vicissitudes Of Fame.
From: Lev
Raphael
Subject: The Eleventh Plague: a review
The Eleventh Plague by Shondra Charivari, Obelisk
Press 725 pp., $29.95
This is a genre-busting international smash, just translated
into English from Farsi, a historical thriller with depth.
Pharaoh Ramses the Hard-Hearted, determined to redeem his
bitter (and wet) experience pursuing pesky Hebrews, decides
to write a tell-all memoir: Too Many Steles, Not Enough
Time. But his troubles are just beginning. 107 book
doctors later, he can't find a publisher! His agent--who
teaches part-time at the Hippocampus of the University of
Thebes--tells him there's a glut of suzerain memoirs out
there, and while Pharoah did lose a son and is suffering
some PTSD from that pillar of fire and column of smoke, his
book isn't full of enough dysfunctional misery. What's a
living god to do? The answer will thrill and chill you.....
By turns fiercely satirical, exuberantly polemical,
catapultingly hierarchical, this is a swell read.
from Lev Raphael, author of Death By Digestive Biscuit.
from Lev Raphael, author of Death By Dolores Del Rio.
from Lev Raphael, author of Death By Iditarod.
from Lev Raphael, author of Death By Deanna Durbin, a starlet-psycho-cozy-legal-thriller.
from Lev Raphael, author of Death By David Brock, a thriller combining scandal-journalism, politics, apologetics, state troopers, conspiracies, law suits and big ears.
from Lev Raphael, author of Dressed to Kill Linda Tripp: a thriller with sex, lies, and very bad drag.
from Lev Raphael, author of the horror novel I Was A Teenage Independent Prosecutor. It's got thrills, chills, and subpoenas galore.
from Lev Raphael, author of Don't Spit, Don't Squint: An Author's Guide to Readings and Promotion.
from Lev Raphael, author of Murder at Malice, a con-ventional mystery.
from Lev Raphael, author of Murder By Merger, in which authors *and* editors dropped by a new publishing conglomerate get revenge.
from Lev Raphael, editor of The Long Good Try (a wannabe anthology) and The Long Good Sigh (an erotic anthology).
From: Lev
Raphael
Subject: The Ultimate Moral Center!!
The Moral Center Murders by Simone
Palladio-Fontavici, Some Vast German Publisher, $25.95, 372
pp.
When an unnamed Ivy League school receives a $50 million
bequest to establish the Anhedonia Starr Center for the
Study of Ethics, Values, and Morality, it can't say no, but
it wishes it had. The elite faculty gathered under this new
roof/rubric is soon a seething mass of sniping, back-biting,
and character assassination, which escalates into murder
when they hold their first ultra exclusive meeting:
Cliquecon. Was it someone they invited or didn't
invite? This book is by turns byzantine, baroque, bawdy,
bloody, and erotic (if you're into angst-driven sex).
More from Lev Raphael...
Original Productions (Let's Get Criminal)
Let's Get Signatory
The Edith Wharton Signatures
Product Lines
Death by Duvet
Infrequently Asked Questions
It's a Mystery to Me